Help with floundering son

[Mike]

On Mon, 05 Jan 2015 22:16:37 -0800, John Robertson wrote:

Larry Niven (right wing SF author) kinda had it right where his
cleverest aliens - the Puppeteers' - leader was called "The Hindmost" as
they lead for the rear, in other words they followed the crowd.

John :-#)#

And, long before him, Gilbert & Sullivan's Duke of Plaza Toro had the same
battle plan...

Mike.

 

[amdx]

On 1/6/2015 12:16 AM, John Robertson wrote:

On 01/05/2015 10:59 AM, amdx wrote:
On 1/5/2015 12:07 PM, John Robertson wrote:
On 12/31/2014 4:15 PM, amdx wrote:
Hi all,
The Sig Gen for guitar amps started me thinking.

My son is floundering, after two years at a university he has decided
that's not what he wants. I guess I could say I knew that
from the start, mom didn't. I would have liked to see him finish
and then flounder with job prospects, but he didn't.
He keeps saying he has an interest in music, he plays guitar, talks
about mixing but has no equipment except a computer.
I've got about $25,000 into his education so far and don't mind
spending some more to get him on a track.
What are some job categories in music, music recording, studio
recording. I don't know! What should he be learning?
I know this is very open ended, because he doesn't know what he
wants.
Just venting and looking for ideas, he will do what he wants when he
finds it, but I figure my job is to put things in his path until he
trips on something.
As I told him when he went to college, explore everything on campus
until you find what tweaks you! I think he played video games instead.

Any Ideas?

Thanks, Dad

I hired my son when he couldn't find a job after graduating with a BA in
Economics. He doesn't live at home so he pays rent, has a steady
girlfriend, does everything one expects when living on their own, and he
is learning a trade. I don't expect him to continue in my field for too
much longer, but in the meantime we can talk and he has a breather while
he figures out his priorities. Plus he gets training in repairing
equipment, practical computer applications (online store), dealing with
customers, etc.

Not every parent has that luxury - being able to hire/train one's
offspring - so it is not a panacea, but it is at least helping him.

John :-#)#

Ya, just because you got a college degree doesn't guarantee a job.
(Obama economy)
We can put him to work in our small business, however, all he will learn
is what it's like to deal with the public! Oh, and maybe he would figure
out he could earn 4 x as much if he got a degree.
Mikek

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Nothing to do with Obama,

Ya, same here after 6 years, they still blame it on Bush

that situation was set up by Bush - if you
want to get political. Of course in Canada folks blame Harper (current
PM) or Trudeau (70s - 90s popular PM) or Mulroney (brought in Free Trade
with USA - Ha!). So, you can blame anyone you like.

However politicians can only do what the people approve,

Not our king, Obama has a pen a phone and Harry Reed.

be it Bush,
Harper, Obama, Mendela, Putin...otherwise we kick them out
and get some new 'leader'

It turns out Gruber is correct, Obama got elected twice!
Mikek

 

"amdx" <noj...@knology.net> wrote:

Hi all, 
  The Sig Gen for guitar amps started me thinking. 
 
 My son is floundering, after two years at a university he has decided 
that's not what he wants. I guess I could say I knew that 
from the start, mom didn't. I would have liked to see him finish 
and then flounder with job prospects, but he didn't. 
 He keeps saying he has an interest in music, he plays guitar, talks about 
mixing but has no equipment except a computer. 
 I've got about $25,000 into his education so far and don't mind spending 
some more to get him on a track. 
  What are some job categories in music, music recording, studio 
recording. I don't know! What should he be learning? 
 I know this is very open ended, because he doesn't know what he wants. 
Just venting and looking for ideas, he will do what he wants when he finds 
it, but I figure my job is to put things in his path until he trips on 
something. 
 As I told him when he went to college, explore everything on campus until 
you find what tweaks you! I think he played video games instead. 
 
Any Ideas? 
 
                 Thanks, Dad 

I'm surprised you care! Most people could care less about family
(yet, expect the perfect kid)

 

[amdx]

On 1/7/2015 3:22 PM, mogulah@hotmail.com wrote:

"amdx" <noj...@knology.net> wrote:

Hi all,
The Sig Gen for guitar amps started me thinking.

My son is floundering, after two years at a university he has decided
that's not what he wants. I guess I could say I knew that
from the start, mom didn't. I would have liked to see him finish
and then flounder with job prospects, but he didn't.
He keeps saying he has an interest in music, he plays guitar, talks about
mixing but has no equipment except a computer.
I've got about $25,000 into his education so far and don't mind spending
some more to get him on a track.
What are some job categories in music, music recording, studio
recording. I don't know! What should he be learning?
I know this is very open ended, because he doesn't know what he wants.
Just venting and looking for ideas, he will do what he wants when he finds
it, but I figure my job is to put things in his path until he trips on
something.
As I told him when he went to college, explore everything on campus until
you find what tweaks you! I think he played video games instead.

Any Ideas?

Thanks, Dad

I'm surprised you care! Most people could care less about family
(yet, expect the perfect kid)

Oh, I think you should change > most < to some.
Mikek


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This email has been checked for viruses by Avast antivirus software.
http://www.avast.com

 

[Oregonian Haruspex]

On 2015-01-01 00:15:15 +0000, amdx said:

Hi all,
The Sig Gen for guitar amps started me thinking.

My son is floundering, after two years at a university he has decided
that's not what he wants. I guess I could say I knew that
from the start, mom didn't. I would have liked to see him finish
and then flounder with job prospects, but he didn't.
He keeps saying he has an interest in music, he plays guitar, talks
about mixing but has no equipment except a computer.
I've got about $25,000 into his education so far and don't mind
spending some more to get him on a track.
What are some job categories in music, music recording, studio
recording. I don't know! What should he be learning?
I know this is very open ended, because he doesn't know what he wants.
Just venting and looking for ideas, he will do what he wants when he
finds it, but I figure my job is to put things in his path until he
trips on something.
As I told him when he went to college, explore everything on campus
until you find what tweaks you! I think he played video games instead.

Any Ideas?

Thanks, Dad

Stop supporting him, let him get a job, and figure it out on his own.
Pressuring him into college in the first place was probably a huge
mistake.

 

On Wednesday, January 7, 2015 5:12:40 PM UTC-5, Oregonian Haruspex wrote:

On 2015-01-01 00:15:15 +0000, amdx said:

Hi all,
The Sig Gen for guitar amps started me thinking.

My son is floundering, after two years at a university he has decided
that's not what he wants. I guess I could say I knew that
from the start, mom didn't. I would have liked to see him finish
and then flounder with job prospects, but he didn't.
He keeps saying he has an interest in music, he plays guitar, talks
about mixing but has no equipment except a computer.
I've got about $25,000 into his education so far and don't mind
spending some more to get him on a track.
What are some job categories in music, music recording, studio
recording. I don't know! What should he be learning?
I know this is very open ended, because he doesn't know what he wants.
Just venting and looking for ideas, he will do what he wants when he
finds it, but I figure my job is to put things in his path until he
trips on something.
As I told him when he went to college, explore everything on campus
until you find what tweaks you! I think he played video games instead.

Any Ideas?

Thanks, Dad

Stop supporting him, let him get a job, and figure it out on
his own. Pressuring him into college in the first place
was probably a huge mistake.

But then years later, he'd be mad at him for not pushing the idea of college. Because on average, people who've continued education after high school earn more.

 

On Wednesday, January 7, 2015 8:32:12 PM UTC-5, F. George McDuffee wrote:

On Wed, 7 Jan 2015 13:22:51 -0800 (PST), mogulah@hotmail.com
wrote:

What are some job categories in music, music recording, studio=A0
recording. I don't know! What should he be learning?=A0
know this is very open ended, because he doesn't know what he wants.=
=A0
Just venting and looking for ideas, he will do what he wants when he find=
it, but I figure my job is to put things in his path until he trips on=A0
something.=A0
======================

Your son is fortunate he has a concerned and involved
father.

This is a common problem in today's society/main stream
culture because most of our young people are now kept
separated from, and in many cases are not even allowed to
observe work (because of perceived legal liability).

I fear that you could even carry that thought a little further with all of the divorce and custody battles. They can't even spend time with both parents, let alone visit the places where they work.

If possible he should contact the university placement
office for extensive interest/talent testing and advise.
for example
http://tinyurl.com/p8oeyvv
http://tinyurl.com/nat2hz3
http://tinyurl.com/d5xgql5

Yeah, that and keep up with what his professors are into. Tell them his interests as they change and what opportunities are out there.

The music/entertainment field as a whole, while glamorous
and exciting on the surface (because this is what sells)
appears to be an extremely demanding field, requiring
extensive amounts of paid and unpaid work and long hours in
all areas, not just the performers.

Additionally, because of the glamor which attracts large
numbers of wannabes, the compensation for all but the very
top performers, and to a limited extent their "possse", is
low and large amounts of talent/inate ability and
practice-practice-practice is required.

If at all possible, try to get him internships in some of
the areas in which he may be interested such as record
production [mixer] or night club DJ, but as noted these are
galm jobs and are hard to get, even with no pay.

If he is not already playing in a garage band, and composing
music, he is advised to forget about the guitar as he will
be competing with people who have played since they could
hold a guitar.

A google search on {music relate employment} returned 169kk
hits. Many of these such as business manager, intellectual
property manager, event manager, etc. require a business
degree and experience A few of the sites include
http://tinyurl.com/q2wqo5j
http://tinyurl.com/nrxdka9
http://tinyurl.com/k2cuwt9
http://tinyurl.com/mk28e6u

Being in the right place at the right time, saying all the right things.

 

[Jerry Peters]

mogulah@hotmail.com wrote:

On Wednesday, January 7, 2015 5:12:40 PM UTC-5, Oregonian Haruspex wrote:
On 2015-01-01 00:15:15 +0000, amdx said:

Hi all,
The Sig Gen for guitar amps started me thinking.

My son is floundering, after two years at a university he has decided
that's not what he wants. I guess I could say I knew that
from the start, mom didn't. I would have liked to see him finish
and then flounder with job prospects, but he didn't.
He keeps saying he has an interest in music, he plays guitar, talks
about mixing but has no equipment except a computer.
I've got about $25,000 into his education so far and don't mind
spending some more to get him on a track.
What are some job categories in music, music recording, studio
recording. I don't know! What should he be learning?
I know this is very open ended, because he doesn't know what he wants.
Just venting and looking for ideas, he will do what he wants when he
finds it, but I figure my job is to put things in his path until he
trips on something.
As I told him when he went to college, explore everything on campus
until you find what tweaks you! I think he played video games instead.

Any Ideas?

Thanks, Dad

Stop supporting him, let him get a job, and figure it out on
his own. Pressuring him into college in the first place
was probably a huge mistake.

But then years later, he'd be mad at him for not pushing the idea of college. Because on average, people who've continued education after high school earn more.

That really depends on what kind of degree you get, doesn't it?
I'd expect that a degree in "something or other studies" to be mostly
worthless.

 

On Thursday, January 8, 2015 at 7:37:33 PM UTC-5, Lloyd E. Sponenburgh wrote:

Ignoramus30544 <ignoramus30544@NOSPAM.30544.invalid> fired this volley in
news:Q-qdnfCoGPtMhjLJnZ2dnUU7-K2dnZ2d@giganews.com:

My guess is that it is due to substance abuse.


Might be, but I had almost $60K into a medical degree for my son when he
just bailed out.

In his case, it was "personality abuse"; his constant "wantsturbation"
was his downfall.

"Dad, I just don't like all the rules and restrictions. I want to be
free to do what I want to do, not what some stupid professor tells me I
have to do."

Yeah, a lot of people hear stuff like that on hate radio. The AM dial on radio spends all day telling you that college campuses are brainwashing people to become liberals, shed the values they grew up with, etc... So the people are scared that they'll lose their freedoms, so they take up guns, hate the government, etc...

To which I replied, "Try 'doing what you want to do' with no education,
no work experience, and no money."

It didn't sway him. He's a DOT weigh-station inspector now, making a
barely-subsistance hourly wage, when he could have been (a damned good)
surgeon -- he has the artistic and manual skills to have done it well.

You can't lead their lives for them.

In other words, some people can't learn from lecture. They only learn from experience.

 

On Thursday, January 8, 2015 at 7:37:33 PM UTC-5, Lloyd E. Sponenburgh wrote:

Ignoramus30544 <ignoramus30544@NOSPAM.30544.invalid> fired this volley in
news:Q-qdnfCoGPtMhjLJnZ2dnUU7-K2dnZ2d@giganews.com:

My guess is that it is due to substance abuse.


Might be, but I had almost $60K into a medical degree for my son when he
just bailed out.

In his case, it was "personality abuse"; his constant "wantsturbation"
was his downfall.

"Dad, I just don't like all the rules and restrictions. I want to be
free to do what I want to do, not what some stupid professor tells me I
have to do."

To which I replied, "Try 'doing what you want to do' with no education,
no work experience, and no money."

It didn't sway him. He's a DOT weigh-station inspector now, making
a barely-subsistance hourly wage ...

That's a government job. That's OK! He could let his chain of command know that he can go to night school and get a masters. Then he make weekly calls to the local bond broker bigwigs and state lawmakers on what state or federal government bond projects near his job site he could chip into (because you need a bond broker in order to buy any government bonds). If he tries to make his bond purchase choices the same as the main government big shots and business leaders in the town he lives in, he can go very far in government.

(he might even get a country club spot if he has good golf skills and good enough connections)

 

On Friday, January 9, 2015 at 5:20:00 PM UTC-5, Lloyd E. Sponenburgh wrote:

walter_evening@post.com fired this volley in news:1bfc5df8-e37e-4410-
b43c-63abe7e6bc4f@googlegroups.com:


That's a government job. That's OK!

It's not federal, it's state, and weight inspectors are not "line" staff.
They are not LEOs. They are just hourly employees who can be laid off,
fired, whatever. The position requires no experience or training to
start... it's all OJT.

And worst -- there is no promotion path for that
grade. He can get minimum COLA, but no advancement.

Not all government jobs are cushy lifetime appointments!

Everyone starts out in the trashy positions, but the ones who at least try to get on the same page as top government appointees eventually get "cushy" or senior executive level state or federal appointments.

Actually, you do have to be in the right spot at the right time once you get your foot in the door of any place you work. Where ever the executives are, you (the low man on the totem-pole) have to figure out a way to be there..

The few "low men on the totem pole" who manage to do that throughout their career get those spots. Maybe a friendship with a government and other bond broker (familiar with most state government projects in his area) might be a key to an eventuality like that.

(who knows where it could lead)

 

On Sunday, January 11, 2015 at 5:56:29 AM UTC-5, Lloyd E. Sponenburgh wrote:

Larry Jaques <ljaques@invalid.diversifycomm.com> fired this volley in
news:g274bahu919qgdtu299qm56pidud4vkbt2@4ax.com:

So show him some tough love. Cut him loose: He either learns and
makes it, or he doesn't, but it's up to him. G'luck!

Loose? He's 38, and on his own for 14 years.

The money's sunk -- He couldn't pay it back if I held a gun to his head.

This isn't a 'continuing problem' for me, it's just an unfortunate truth,
and an irk that won't 'de-irk', because of all the folks his age whom I
see in the same situation.

Sometimes I wonder if he'd have been more intent on finishing his degree
if he'd had to work for the tuition... no telling, now.

Yeah, but kids usually do what their parents did. So I guess he's copying you to a degree, right? I mean your generation had going-out-doors, joking with your friends, reading newspapers and books. All that helped in college.

His generation had Television, MTV and video games. That background makes college and competition tougher.

(so maybe he couldn't have just copied you)