has anybody got some good "Dick smith" jokes

[Eric]

Today I was told the thicker wire has higher resistance, (Auckland)


Once I went in and asked if they sold "hockey sticks" so I could put up a
aerial the person said "sorry sir we don't sell sports equipment"


Someone else told me they were in a shop and they heard a salesman saying to
a customer "Sorry sir, we don't have that IC you are asking for, would you
like this other one? it is one digit off"

 

[Peter Parker]

Then there's the crazy things customers (with a little but not a lot of
knowledge) do.

Mrs A knew that fridges sometimes used different types of lights inside;
bayonet and screw.

To find out which type, Mrs A didn't do the smart thing and look at the old
globe. Instead she ran her fingernail along inside the socket to detect
whether it had grooves or was smooth.

The fridge was still on, the socket was live, and she got a nasty 240v
shock!

Peter

 

[Richard Waters]

I have worked on both sides of the fence, I have been a manager for dickies,
and I have gotten more dumb comments from customers than I have ever done
since leaving dickies!

The problem is that they dont hire people with an electronics or electrical
trades background (unlike myself), so must of the time they are flying
blind - especially the powerhouse stores when they started - the only way
they got a lot of the staff was from poaching staff from hardly normals (and
I dont mean boiling in hot water for 4min - tho at times, I would want to do
that!)...

I have had the old, "...cant get the right size fuse so Ill put a nail in it
until I can get into the store" phone call when I was working at the Gosford
NSW store, and that guy claimed he was a sparky?! :-S



If you really think the service is THAT bad at dickies, then go to ur local
Jaycar or Straithfield store - if its anything like the ones out this way,
then Im sure ur attitude will change!

Cheers, Richard

(glad to see the arse end of dickies!)

 

[Peter Parker]

"Richard Waters" <legerdemain@SpAmSuCkSiprimus.com.au> wrote in message
news:4206b00a$1_1@news.iprimus.com.au...

I have worked on both sides of the fence,

Same here.

I have had the old, "...cant get the right size fuse so Ill put a nail in
it
until I can get into the store" phone call when I was working at the
Gosford
NSW store, and that guy claimed he was a sparky?! :-S

Here's a couple more:

* Most people look at sockets before inserting a plug, or at least not
forcing things if they don't go in. However there was this long-time and
well experienced radio amateur who wondered why his antenna plug wouldn't
fit into his new $600 transceiver.

It turned out he tried to force a PL259 into a type N socket. So much force
was applied that the leaves of the N socket were bent out. This is a good
news story, as it was possible to (carefully) bend the leaves back without
breaking them and the radio was fine.

* Even batteries and bulbs can cause trouble, especially if a school project
deadline is looming and Mum is in a panic. The problem was fixed when she
was advised that plastic doesn't conduct, and you need to strip the wire
first. Oh, and it helps if you connect to the metal contacts on the holder,
rather than its plastic mounting holes. Another good news story.

* Ignorance from the uninitiated, as we saw above, is no sin, but you'd have
to wonder about the engineering student who tried to deny Ohms Law and kill
himself in the process.

Cela Trams is an engineering student who needed a power supply for an
unusual cooling device brought in from the States. The original supply ran
on 110 volts, so a version suitable for Australia was needed. According to
the label, it delivered 12 volts at 3 amps maximum. Our closest unit was
rated at 5 amps - more than sufficient.

Cela bought this unit, soon returned it claiming that it provided
insufficient current. This was despite our supply having a higher rating
than the original. To obtain sufficient cooling he said that a current of
5 amps was needed. According to him our unit was at fault as it wasn't
delivering enough current - the supply's ammeter indicated only 2 amps -
consistent with an original supply rated at 3, but inconsistent with Cela's
claim that the cooler drew 5.

Several times I explained that current consumption depends on the resistance
of the appliance. Provided its capacity is sufficient, the power supply has
no influence on consumption. To demonstrate, I connected a huge 20 amp
supply. Sure enough, the cooler still took 2 amps. However he refused to
believe me and still wanted to force 5 amps through the thing!

By this time I (privately) formed the opinion that he should give up
electronics and try stamp collecting. However Cela was a rather persistent
fellow. Why not use the original 110 volt supply and a stepdown
transformer? A problem was that the 110 volt input used an oddball
connector, and we had no American power plugs.

Cela's brainwave was to consider putting an Aussie 240 volt plug on the 110
volt supply and use an international adaptor to allow connection to the
American outlet on the stepdown transformer. He was warned that this
practice is dangerous and very probably illegal as it gives rise to someone
accidentally plugging the 110 volt supply into the 240 volt mains. I also
warned that he seemed ill-educated on electrical safety and he could kill
himself if not careful. He said that he would consult his university's
electrical department, which was about the only good idea he had all day!


Peter

 

[mikegw]

overheard conversation in tricky dickies...

Amercian accent with the remains of what looked like a hair drier in hand:
"What the HELL do you mean you use 240 volts here!!"

Mike

 

[Jim]

"Eric" <hahaha@clear.i.never.see.junk.mail.com> wrote in message
news:4205fc64@clear.net.nz...

Today I was told the thicker wire has higher resistance, (Auckland)


Once I went in and asked if they sold "hockey sticks" so I could put up a
aerial the person said "sorry sir we don't sell sports equipment"


Someone else told me they were in a shop and they heard a salesman saying
to
a customer "Sorry sir, we don't have that IC you are asking for, would you
like this other one? it is one digit off"

Not Tricky but another well known shop. I needed bits and asked if the guy

could read the schematic in my hand so that we could save time. Nope.
Wandered around, picked up the bits and went to pay. Other assistant asked
what it was all for. Feeling a bit p(**^& off I said "well I could tell you,
but then I'd have to kill you". With a smile on my face of course. Left
behind a shocked shop assistant and quite a few laughing customers.
Later on I thought poor buggars. Imagine trying to sell something that you
had so little knowledge of, can't be easy.

 

[KLR]

On Mon, 7 Feb 2005 00:15:20 +1300, "Eric"
<hahaha@clear.i.never.see.junk.mail.com> wrote:

Today I was told the thicker wire has higher resistance, (Auckland)


Once I went in and asked if they sold "hockey sticks" so I could put up a
aerial the person said "sorry sir we don't sell sports equipment"


Someone else told me they were in a shop and they heard a salesman saying to
a customer "Sorry sir, we don't have that IC you are asking for, would you
like this other one? it is one digit off"



I was at a dickies store in Brisbane in about 2000, 2001 and waiting

behind a couple of other customers at the counter. One man was there
with a hard drive in his hand, and there was a hole blown in one of
the IC's on its PCB. He was asking the dick smith guy if he knew of
any HDD data recovery services locally. dick smith guy insisted "Put
the drive in a plastic bag and in the freezer for a couple of hours,
it will then work fine"

Bloke pointed to the hole in the IC, and said, what about this ?
Dick smith guy again repeated "dont worry about that - just put the
drive in the freezer for a couple of hours and it will then work"

 

[Rob]

DSE staffer - "Antistatic foam? What's that?"

I asked for a piece of plain paper and wrapped the IC in that.

r.

 

[Martin]

Went in to a DSE store to (try) and buy a 70cm amateur band antenna. Unable
to find one on the shelf I flipped through the catalogue and pointed to the
model I needed, to which the salesman said "sorry we don't have any of
those, what about this one it is about 70cm long!"..

After a very brief lesson in wavelength and what 70cm actually referred to,
the comment came "well can't you just get a UHF CB antenna and 'swar' it
in?"...

On the other side of the fence, many years ago when I worked for another
electronics shop, an older gentleman came in to buy a CB for his grandson.
After choosing the model he wanted and antenna/cable, I asked him if he
needed a power supply - "no, we're fine with all that, I know what I'm
doing" (I promptly shuddered...)

Next day the old guy was back complaining that the CB didn't work and had
blown up when he turned it on. I asked him exactly what happened and here
is the description - he had setup the antenna and plugged it all in, then
wired a 3 pin power plug to the (12V DC) power lead, plugged it into a 240V
AC power point and..............

I still wonder how he explained to his grandson that blowing up the CB with
240 volts wasn't covered under warranty!!

 

[Kevin Ettery]

That sentence - "I know what I'm doing" - the 5 words guaranteed to send
chills down the backs of most of us here.

I've seen the results of someone hooking a capacitor across 240Vac in a
power supply (why I don't know - I suspect he'd read a story about harmonic
filtering and tried out an idea), and to cap things off it was an
electrolytic (about 100uF). All I know is that at the time the inside of
his jocks probably resembled the inside of the power supply - shit
everywhere!

Ciao



Kevin


"Martin" <invalid.vk2umj@yahoo.com.au> wrote in message
news:36oe02F52482jU1@individual.net...

Went in to a DSE store to (try) and buy a 70cm amateur band antenna.
Unable
to find one on the shelf I flipped through the catalogue and pointed to
the
model I needed, to which the salesman said "sorry we don't have any of
those, what about this one it is about 70cm long!"..

After a very brief lesson in wavelength and what 70cm actually referred
to,
the comment came "well can't you just get a UHF CB antenna and 'swar' it
in?"...

On the other side of the fence, many years ago when I worked for another
electronics shop, an older gentleman came in to buy a CB for his grandson.
After choosing the model he wanted and antenna/cable, I asked him if he
needed a power supply - "no, we're fine with all that, I know what I'm
doing" (I promptly shuddered...)

Next day the old guy was back complaining that the CB didn't work and had
blown up when he turned it on. I asked him exactly what happened and here
is the description - he had setup the antenna and plugged it all in, then
wired a 3 pin power plug to the (12V DC) power lead, plugged it into a
240V
AC power point and..............

I still wonder how he explained to his grandson that blowing up the CB
with
240 volts wasn't covered under warranty!!

 

[Wing Fong Wong]

Kevin Ettery <kpettery@dcsi.net.au> wrote:

That sentence - "I know what I'm doing" - the 5 words guaranteed to send
chills down the backs of most of us here.

I've seen the results of someone hooking a capacitor across 240Vac in a
power supply (why I don't know - I suspect he'd read a story about harmonic
filtering and tried out an idea), and to cap things off it was an
electrolytic (about 100uF). All I know is that at the time the inside of
his jocks probably resembled the inside of the power supply - shit
everywhere!

Ciao



Kevin

I like to say DSE's hiring policy sucks. Especially now that the hiring is
taken over by Woolies. I think they are looking for people with more sales
experience rather than electronics knowledge. I've tried applying for a
job with them a couple of time and I haven't hear peep from them. I'm sure
it not due to my level of electronics experience, I've got more than most
of the current employees there. Hell, I've been doing this since I pick up
my first soldering iron at the age of 10! I suspects it is more due to my
lack of sales experience.

--

Wing Wong.
Webpage: http://wing.ucc.asn.au

 

[David L. Jones]

Wing Fong Wong wrote:

Kevin Ettery <kpettery@dcsi.net.au> wrote:
That sentence - "I know what I'm doing" - the 5 words guaranteed to
send
chills down the backs of most of us here.

I've seen the results of someone hooking a capacitor across 240Vac
in a
power supply (why I don't know - I suspect he'd read a story about
harmonic
filtering and tried out an idea), and to cap things off it was an
electrolytic (about 100uF). All I know is that at the time the
inside of
his jocks probably resembled the inside of the power supply - shit
everywhere!

Ciao



Kevin


I like to say DSE's hiring policy sucks. Especially now that the
hiring is
taken over by Woolies. I think they are looking for people with more
sales
experience rather than electronics knowledge. I've tried applying for
a
job with them a couple of time and I haven't hear peep from them. I'm
sure
it not due to my level of electronics experience, I've got more than
most
of the current employees there.

More than all of them combined I would recon ;-)

Hell, I've been doing this since I pick up
my first soldering iron at the age of 10! I suspects it is more due
to my
lack of sales experience.

I suspect it's almost entirely due to that, or some other non-related
reason. They most likely couldn't care less if you have electronics
knowledge or not.
Jaycar or Altronics on the other hand most likely still would care, but
it's certainly not pre-requisite!

Dave

 

[Brian Goldsmith]

"Wing Fong Wong" <wing@tartar.com.au> wrote


I like to say DSE's hiring policy sucks. Especially now that the hiring is
taken over by Woolies.



***That was fifteen years ago,were you even born then?

Brian Goldsmith.

 

[John Tserkezis]

Wing Fong Wong wrote:

I like to say DSE's hiring policy sucks. Especially now that the hiring is
taken over by Woolies. I think they are looking for people with more sales
experience rather than electronics knowledge.

It goes both ways.

If they had any real electronics knowledge, do you think they'd be working as
a sales droid?
--
Linux Registered User # 302622 <http://counter.li.org>

 

[eltan]

But not every DSE store use Woolies human resource prople, some store do it
behind their back.


"Brian Goldsmith" <brian.goldsmith@nospam.echo1.com.au> wrote in message
news:SpHNd.151012$K7.133863@news-server.bigpond.net.au...

"Wing Fong Wong" <wing@tartar.com.au> wrote


I like to say DSE's hiring policy sucks. Especially now that the hiring is
taken over by Woolies.



***That was fifteen years ago,were you even born then?

Brian Goldsmith.

 

[Jim]

"John Tserkezis" <jt@techniciansyndrome.org.invalid> wrote in message
news:420745c8$0$3499$afc38c87@news.optusnet.com.au...

Wing Fong Wong wrote:

I like to say DSE's hiring policy sucks. Especially now that the hiring
is
taken over by Woolies. I think they are looking for people with more
sales
experience rather than electronics knowledge.

It goes both ways.

If they had any real electronics knowledge, do you think they'd be
working as
a sales droid?
--
Linux Registered User # 302622
http://counter.li.org

Quite frankly anyone with a knowledge of electronics wouldn't fit in !!

 

[Wing Fong Wong]

Jim <jimshire1_nospammy@spamlessiprimus.com.au> wrote:

"John Tserkezis" <jt@techniciansyndrome.org.invalid> wrote in message
news:420745c8$0$3499$afc38c87@news.optusnet.com.au...
Wing Fong Wong wrote:

I like to say DSE's hiring policy sucks. Especially now that the hiring
is
taken over by Woolies. I think they are looking for people with more
sales
experience rather than electronics knowledge.

It goes both ways.

If they had any real electronics knowledge, do you think they'd be
working as
a sales droid?
--
Linux Registered User # 302622
http://counter.li.org

Quite frankly anyone with a knowledge of electronics wouldn't fit in !!

Well at the time I tried applying, when I was about in year 11, I saw it a
great opportunity for some part time work I was actually interested in and
made use of my skills. At the time I had also been a faithful customer for
many years.

--

Wing Wong.
Webpage: http://wing.ucc.asn.au

 

[David Myers]

"PP" == "Peter Parker" writes:


PP> Cela's brainwave was to consider putting an Aussie 240 volt plug
PP> on the 110 volt supply and use an international adaptor to allow
PP> connection to the American outlet on the stepdown transformer.
PP> He was warned that this practice is dangerous and very probably
PP> illegal as it gives rise to someone accidentally plugging the 110
PP> volt supply into the 240 volt mains. I also warned that he
PP> seemed ill-educated on electrical safety and he could kill
PP> himself if not careful. He said that he would consult his
PP> university's electrical department, which was about the only good
PP> idea he had all day!

That reminds me of a situation 25 years ago when I was working for
Voca, the answering machine people.

We had a customer who was originally not on mains power, and he had
one of our answering machines that had been modified in our workshop
to run on 12VDC. The normal 240V power lead was removed, and a 12V
lead with battery clips substituted, as well as the expected internal
modifications.

One day on one of his regular trips to Melbourne the customer brought
his machine in for a service. He just wanted it cleaned, checked and
a new tape installed. The first thing I had noticed was that he had
removed the battery clips and had installed a 240V plug instead! Of
course I removed the plug, and left a note with the machine outlining
the obvious dangers. When he collected the machine he explaned he had
used 240V plugs and sockets on all his 12V circuits. He also
mentioned he had mains on by now.....so I explained carefully the
dangers and strongly recommended he not use 240V mains hardware for
his 12V equipment!

A week later the machine was back.....blown to bits. He had
reattached the 240V plug, and now that his house had mains power, he
absent-mindedly plugged it into 240V.

The machine was a write-off. I still remember the microcontroller
chip with a crater and a bit of frothy silicon in the bottom!

25 years later I still shudder at the thought of a house with a
mixture of 240V and 12V power all using the same plugs!
--
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Posted with Amiga NewsRog
------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

[KLR]

On 08 Feb 2005 11:17:54 GMT, "David Myers" <davem2@11net.net.au>
wrote:

"PP" == "Peter Parker" writes:


One day on one of his regular trips to Melbourne the customer brought
his machine in for a service. He just wanted it cleaned, checked and
a new tape installed. The first thing I had noticed was that he had
removed the battery clips and had installed a 240V plug instead! Of
course I removed the plug, and left a note with the machine outlining
the obvious dangers. When he collected the machine he explaned he had
used 240V plugs and sockets on all his 12V circuits. He also
mentioned he had mains on by now.....so I explained carefully the
dangers and strongly recommended he not use 240V mains hardware for
his 12V equipment!

A week later the machine was back.....blown to bits. He had
reattached the 240V plug, and now that his house had mains power, he
absent-mindedly plugged it into 240V.

The machine was a write-off. I still remember the microcontroller
chip with a crater and a bit of frothy silicon in the bottom!

25 years later I still shudder at the thought of a house with a
mixture of 240V and 12V power all using the same plugs!


You would think that if he had to have such a system, he would have at

least used a socket with a round earth pin or even better still one of
those plug and sockets with the 2 pins in a "T" type configuration
(that were probably designed for a 12v or 32v system in the first
place)

I remember one article in EA or ETI well over 20 years ago showing

where some idiot had put a 240v plug on his telecom dial phone, and
installed extra 240v sockets around the house that were connected to
the phone line - in order to make his phone system "portable" (plug
the handset in in different rooms.)

of course this was in the bad old days when you could only use the
telecom supplied phone, couldn't buy aftermarket phones, and probably
not telecom type plugs and sockets too.

As I recall extra phones and extra phone sockets cost a bloody fortune
in extra rental too

 

[John Crighton]

On Tue, 08 Feb 2005 22:45:11 +1000, KLR <kenreed@yahoo.com> wrote:

25 years later I still shudder at the thought of a house with a
mixture of 240V and 12V power all using the same plugs!


You would think that if he had to have such a system, he would have at
least used a socket with a round earth pin or even better still one of
those plug and sockets with the 2 pins in a "T" type configuration
(that were probably designed for a 12v or 32v system in the first
place)

This mention of the "T" type plugs for DC reminded me
of a similar situation. Nothing to do with DSE but with REME
or RAEME, the army engineers in Sydney. I was working
for AWA marine at the time, about 2O years ago.

A 24V Procom HF transceiver came into the workshop
for repair. It was fixed and picked up. A couple of days
later the radio was back again. Similar parts gone, the
expensive RF transistors. "Didn't work mate! Same as last
time, you didn't fix it" was the new complaint.

A few days later another Procom transceiver from the same army
base was in for repair but different serial number. Similar expensive
parts had gone. I asked the army engineer fellow who brought
the set in, if the power supply was correct. "Not sure!"

This time I went to their base with the radio to re-install it myself
and found out that these radios were used on several landing
craft, those vessels with drop down flat ramps at the front.

The "T" power sockets on board each vessel were not wired
the same way regarding polarity. Initially each radio had stayed
on the vessel it was installed in. So no problems with polarity
of the "T" type plug. Later, an order was issued to remove
the radio sets when not in use and keep them in the store but
they didn't necessarily go back to the same vessel, so the
polarity of the plug wiring could be different. Ooops!
Radios were taken from the store and plugged in till eventually
one of them worked. There were quite a few dud sets to fix!
My boss wasn't complaining!

The connector wiring was sorted to be the same on all vessels
and all radios.

The next complaint was "Piss poor radio performance, mate."
Each boat had a pre-set tuner, called an automatic tuner but
it was not "automatic" as we know today. A 12 foot or 16 foot
whip aerial stuck up through a canvas canopy used as the
wheel house roof to keep sun and rain off the guy steering the
boat. The whip aerials were a bit short and the canvas, when
wet, affected the tuning. Therefore poor performance.
Obvious to everyone?
Nope!
The army radio experts in Melbourne would not accept that a
preset aerial tuner was not good for this type of installation until
we did an experiment to prove it.

Two boats were taken to Gosford to make the test comparisons.
Boat Number 1 with short aerial and original preset aerial tuner.
Boat Number 2 with longer aerial and manually adjustable tuner.

With canvas dry the tuning was OK and radio calls got through
to a distant army base station from both boats.

The canvas canopys surrounding the whip aerials on both boats
was sprayed wet with sea water and communication was poor on
Boat number 1 due the tuning being off.
Boat number 2 with a longer whip aerial and the manual tuning unit
which was re-adjusted when the canvas was wet, had good
communication with the distant base station.
Results as expected!
We didn't have to go all the way to Gosford to do this but orders
are orders. ( I had a nice day out and got to steer a boat all the
way back to the base.)

What a caper to prove to the army high ups that the
preset tuners were not suitable for this installation.

DSE and customer blunders OK, but that lot were engineers
and techo types mis-using our tax dollars.

Regards,
John Crighton
Hornsby