A new thing to worry about

[Stormin Mormon]

You funny! (Funny because there is a LOT of truth in what
you write.)

--
Christopher A. Young
Learn more about Jesus
www.lds.org
..


"William R. Walsh" <wm_walsh@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:7af69ed4-57ad-49a8-9472-34ce1f48a822@h14g2000pri.googlegroups.com...
Hi!

Oh, that means I can't install it in the ceiling outlet,
in
my shower?

Learn more about Jesus

Well, you *can* but I suspect that you might end up doing a
really
good job of learning more about Jesus. If you don't meet
him, you
might say his name a few times rather loudly.

Sorry. I'll stop now.

William

 

[Stormin Mormon]

It sounds like a routine for three stooges?

Ow! Why'd you hit me? I dunno, why'd you turn off the radio?
I didn't turn off the radio. Hey, someone switch on the
light? What, no light? No! Curly took the bulb out to plug
in the radio! Hey, someone turn on the radio so I can find
the light....

--
Christopher A. Young
Learn more about Jesus
www.lds.org
..


"William R. Walsh" <wm_walsh@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:9f8c5b21-b0b1-4531-a925-e7b3c1cf5047@a10g2000pre.googlegroups.com...
Hi!

Do you want to be hit in the head when the wall wart falls
out of a crappy outlet?

I don't know why, but I find that absolutely hilarious.

"Why won't this thing WORK?!" (turns it over to examine it,
make sure
it's plugged in)

clunk

"Ow. Oh."

William

 

[Arfa Daily]

"Smitty Two" <prestwhich@earthlink.net> wrote in message
newsrestwhich-3D5E78.05551309122009@newsfarm.iad.highwinds-media.com...

In article <C4KTm.64349$Dl4.26640@newsfe08.ams2>,
"Arfa Daily" <arfa.daily@ntlworld.com> wrote:

"mm" <NOPSAMmm2005@bigfoot.com> wrote in message
news:dcluh59arm1ucr86pgshj7ppgv8nf067ib@4ax.com...



From generic antenna installation instructions, from
www.terrestrial-digital.com

After a page of warnings about grounding, power lines and windy days,
more warnings:

WARNING
Do not attempt to install if drunk, pregnant or both.
Do not eat antenna.
Do not throw antenna at spouse.

I guess that's one of those "direct translation from the Chinese" things,
but here's a serious one I saw the other day on a building compound gate
at
my local supermarket where they are doing some refurbing. It said

"No alcohol or drugs to be used on this site"

What is the world coming to ?

I wonder what your employment laws are like over there? To me, a sign
like that constitutes fair and legal notice to workmen that they can be
lawfully dismissed (fired) if they're using on the job. Without such
notice, they can readily defend themselves simply by saying they were
never advised that drinking wasn't allowed by company policy. It also
likely fulfills insurance policy requirements.

I saw a book a few years ago titled "How to Hire and Fire in California
Without Getting Sued." An example: An employee comes in late three days
a week, and has many unexcused absences. If you fire him for it, you'd
better have documented proof that you've kept attendance records on all
employees, to prove you didn't single him out. Also proof that he
received the company policy manual that clearly states acceptable and
unacceptable levels of tardiness and absenteeism.

But you probably knew all that, and were just being rhetorical.

Employment laws pretty much the same here, and you're quite right on what
exactly that sign was about. Just struck me as a sad state of affairs when
you have to advise someone who has actually *got* a job, that it could be in
jeopardy if they start boozing or using illegal substances whilst they are
supposed to be doing that job. As to the singling out of employees for what
you as an employer consider to be unacceptable behaviour or performance,
this whole area is an absolute minefield here now, especially since this
rotten government of ours, has allowed much of our employment law to now be
dictated by Johnny Foreigner across the water ...


Arfa

 

[David Nebenzahl]

On 12/9/2009 5:14 PM Stormin Mormon spake thus:

And, and also learned the Jesus Method of finding out which
breaker connects to a certain electrical outlet. requiring a
six or so inch length of 12 or 14 gage wire, with about an
inch of each end stripped. Often with the ends gently
pounded flat.

Are you saying that's how Jesus would've done it?


--
I am a Canadian who was born and raised in The Netherlands. I live on
Planet Earth on a spot of land called Canada. We have noisy neighbours.

- harvested from Usenet

 

[David Nebenzahl]

On 12/9/2009 1:27 AM Arfa Daily spake thus:

"mm" <NOPSAMmm2005@bigfoot.com> wrote in message
news:dcluh59arm1ucr86pgshj7ppgv8nf067ib@4ax.com...

On Wed, 09 Dec 2009 02:23:44 -0500, mm <NOPSAMmm2005@bigfoot.com
wrote:

Powering Your Switch
Connect the supplied AC adapter to 12VDC/100mA
on the back of the switch. Then, plug the other end of the
adapter into a standard AC outlet. The power turns on.

Note: To avoid injury, do not connect the adapter to a ceiling
outlet.

My gosh! A new thing to worry about.

From generic antenna installation instructions, from
www.terrestrial-digital.com

After a page of warnings about grounding, power lines and windy days,
more warnings:

WARNING
Do not attempt to install if drunk, pregnant or both.
Do not eat antenna.
Do not throw antenna at spouse.

I guess that's one of those "direct translation from the Chinese" things,
but here's a serious one I saw the other day on a building compound gate at
my local supermarket where they are doing some refurbing. It said

"No alcohol or drugs to be used on this site"

What is the world coming to ? My wife won a toy radio controlled car at the
bingo last weekend. Some of the instructions on that box were hysterical,
but she's given it away now, so unfortunately, I can't share :-( That
was mine to play with ...

So tell me if you've read anything that can beat this: one a'them sun
shades you put inside your car's windshield (sorry, windSCREEN) that
says this inside:

REMOVE BEFORE DRIVING


(not translated-from-Chinese hilarity, but still ...)


--
I am a Canadian who was born and raised in The Netherlands. I live on
Planet Earth on a spot of land called Canada. We have noisy neighbours.

- harvested from Usenet

 

[Ralph Mowery]

"David Nebenzahl" <nobody@but.us.chickens> wrote in message
news:4b2057d6$0$26993$822641b3@news.adtechcomputers.com...

On 12/9/2009 5:14 PM Stormin Mormon spake thus:

And, and also learned the Jesus Method of finding out which breaker
connects to a certain electrical outlet. requiring a six or so inch
length of 12 or 14 gage wire, with about an inch of each end stripped.
Often with the ends gently pounded flat.

Are you saying that's how Jesus would've done it?

NO, You yell out Jesus when the fire flies.
Also a good way to meet Him.

Maybe safer to get a couple of high current devices such as two hair dryers
and turn one on and then the other.

 

[Oren]

On Wed, 9 Dec 2009 17:14:20 -0600, "HeyBub" <heybub@NOSPAMgmail.com>
wrote:

Smitty Two wrote:

I saw a book a few years ago titled "How to Hire and Fire in
California Without Getting Sued." An example: An employee comes in
late three days a week, and has many unexcused absences. If you fire
him for it, you'd better have documented proof that you've kept
attendance records on all employees, to prove you didn't single him
out. Also proof that he received the company policy manual that
clearly states acceptable and unacceptable levels of tardiness and
absenteeism.


It is very difficult to fire a California employee by the state-approved
methods.

The most common ways to rid yourself of a troublesome priest is to:

A) Frame them. Put something in their work-station or desk that is
absolutely prohibited: alcohol, a gun, illicit drugs, a collection of porno
mags, or download some child porn to their workplace computer.

The guy had a Top Secret clearance. I wouldn't spend twenty dollars
for a whore to get pictures of this guy. I could have, but girls cost
more today.

Instead, I capture his American Flag. He never knew who defeated him!

B) Kill them, or at least beat them severely.

<G>

 

[Oren]

On Thu, 10 Dec 2009 02:04:38 -0000, "Arfa Daily"
<arfa.daily@ntlworld.com> wrote:

"Smitty Two" <prestwhich@earthlink.net> wrote in message
newsrestwhich-3D5E78.05551309122009@newsfarm.iad.highwinds-media.com...
In article <C4KTm.64349$Dl4.26640@newsfe08.ams2>,
"Arfa Daily" <arfa.daily@ntlworld.com> wrote:

"mm" <NOPSAMmm2005@bigfoot.com> wrote in message
news:dcluh59arm1ucr86pgshj7ppgv8nf067ib@4ax.com...



From generic antenna installation instructions, from
www.terrestrial-digital.com

After a page of warnings about grounding, power lines and windy days,
more warnings:

WARNING
Do not attempt to install if drunk, pregnant or both.
Do not eat antenna.
Do not throw antenna at spouse.

I guess that's one of those "direct translation from the Chinese" things,
but here's a serious one I saw the other day on a building compound gate
at
my local supermarket where they are doing some refurbing. It said

"No alcohol or drugs to be used on this site"

What is the world coming to ?

I wonder what your employment laws are like over there? To me, a sign
like that constitutes fair and legal notice to workmen that they can be
lawfully dismissed (fired) if they're using on the job. Without such
notice, they can readily defend themselves simply by saying they were
never advised that drinking wasn't allowed by company policy. It also
likely fulfills insurance policy requirements.

I saw a book a few years ago titled "How to Hire and Fire in California
Without Getting Sued." An example: An employee comes in late three days
a week, and has many unexcused absences. If you fire him for it, you'd
better have documented proof that you've kept attendance records on all
employees, to prove you didn't single him out. Also proof that he
received the company policy manual that clearly states acceptable and
unacceptable levels of tardiness and absenteeism.

But you probably knew all that, and were just being rhetorical.

Employment laws pretty much the same here, and you're quite right on what
exactly that sign was about. Just struck me as a sad state of affairs when
you have to advise someone who has actually *got* a job, that it could be in
jeopardy if they start boozing or using illegal substances whilst they are
supposed to be doing that job. As to the singling out of employees for what
you as an employer consider to be unacceptable behaviour or performance,
this whole area is an absolute minefield here now, especially since this
rotten government of ours, has allowed much of our employment law to now be
dictated by Johnny Foreigner across the water ...


Arfa

Federal Civil Service workers here are protected by the Merit Systems
Protection Board.

Say 80% of those fired, then appeal. Fact is they get their job back,
back pay and benefits, even if they had sex with a prisoner :-/

 

[Oren]

On Wed, 09 Dec 2009 18:12:40 -0800, David Nebenzahl
<nobody@but.us.chickens> wrote:

So tell me if you've read anything that can beat this: one a'them sun
shades you put inside your car's windshield (sorry, windSCREEN) that
says this inside:

REMOVE BEFORE DRIVING


(not translated-from-Chinese hilarity, but still ...)

Warning Labels:

""For external use only!" -- On a curling iron."

""Do not use if you cannot see clearly to read the information in the
information booklet." -- In the information booklet."

 

[The Daring Dufas]

Stormin Mormon wrote:

And, and also learned the Jesus Method of finding out which
breaker connects to a certain electrical outlet. requiring a
six or so inch length of 12 or 14 gage wire, with about an
inch of each end stripped. Often with the ends gently
pounded flat.

Hey! You stealing my material again?

TDD

 

[Stormin Mormon]

Not sure. I'm unable to find that mentioned in any of the
scriptures. More likely that's the exclaimation heard from
the electrician.

--
Christopher A. Young
Learn more about Jesus
www.lds.org
..


"David Nebenzahl" <nobody@but.us.chickens> wrote in message
news:4b2057d6$0$26993$822641b3@news.adtechcomputers.com...
On 12/9/2009 5:14 PM Stormin Mormon spake thus:

And, and also learned the Jesus Method of finding out
which
breaker connects to a certain electrical outlet. requiring
a
six or so inch length of 12 or 14 gage wire, with about an
inch of each end stripped. Often with the ends gently
pounded flat.

Are you saying that's how Jesus would've done it?


--
I am a Canadian who was born and raised in The Netherlands.
I live on
Planet Earth on a spot of land called Canada. We have noisy
neighbours.

- harvested from Usenet

 

[Stormin Mormon]

I've suggested the double hair dryer, but I've never seen it
done in practice.

--
Christopher A. Young
Learn more about Jesus
www.lds.org
..


"Ralph Mowery" <rmowery28146@earthlink.net> wrote in message
news:C_qdnW6Nmeg5x73WnZ2dnUVZ_v6dnZ2d@earthlink.com...


NO, You yell out Jesus when the fire flies.
Also a good way to meet Him.

Maybe safer to get a couple of high current devices such as
two hair dryers
and turn one on and then the other.

 

[Stormin Mormon]

Was that you I saw, coming down from the cloud, after the
bright red flash? Surrounded by a herd of ministering
electricians?

--
Christopher A. Young
Learn more about Jesus
www.lds.org
..


"The Daring Dufas" <the-daring-dufas@peckerhead.net> wrote
in message news:hfpsm3$3qv$1@news.eternal-september.org...
Stormin Mormon wrote:

And, and also learned the Jesus Method of finding out
which
breaker connects to a certain electrical outlet. requiring
a
six or so inch length of 12 or 14 gage wire, with about an
inch of each end stripped. Often with the ends gently
pounded flat.

Hey! You stealing my material again?

TDD

 

[The Daring Dufas]

Stormin Mormon wrote:

Was that you I saw, coming down from the cloud, after the
bright red flash? Surrounded by a herd of ministering
electricians?

Me? Now you know very well that I came from the other direction.

TDD

 

[Stormin Mormon]

Hail, Satan!

--
Christopher A. Young
Learn more about Jesus
www.lds.org
..


"The Daring Dufas" <the-daring-dufas@peckerhead.net> wrote
in message news:hfqmos$jg7$1@news.eternal-september.org...
Stormin Mormon wrote:

Was that you I saw, coming down from the cloud, after the
bright red flash? Surrounded by a herd of ministering
electricians?

Me? Now you know very well that I came from the other
direction.

TDD

 

[The Daring Dufas]

Stormin Mormon wrote:

Hail, Satan!

HISSSSSSSSSS! I'm evil.

TDD

 

[mm]

On Wed, 09 Dec 2009 19:02:36 -0800, Oren <Oren@127.0.0.1> wrote:

On Wed, 09 Dec 2009 18:12:40 -0800, David Nebenzahl
nobody@but.us.chickens> wrote:

So tell me if you've read anything that can beat this: one a'them sun
shades you put inside your car's windshield (sorry, windSCREEN) that
says this inside:

REMOVE BEFORE DRIVING


(not translated-from-Chinese hilarity, but still ...)


Warning Labels:

""For external use only!" -- On a curling iron."

""Do not use if you cannot see clearly to read the information in the
information booklet." -- In the information booklet."

Okay, my favorite: On a Superman costume:

Caution: Costume does not enable wearer to fly.

 

[mm]

On Wed, 9 Dec 2009 09:27:59 -0000, "Arfa Daily"
<arfa.daily@ntlworld.com> wrote:

"mm" <NOPSAMmm2005@bigfoot.com> wrote in message
news:dcluh59arm1ucr86pgshj7ppgv8nf067ib@4ax.com...
On Wed, 09 Dec 2009 02:23:44 -0500, mm <NOPSAMmm2005@bigfoot.com
wrote:

Powering Your Switch
Connect the supplied AC adapter to 12VDC/100mA
on the back of the switch. Then, plug the other end of the
adapter into a standard AC outlet. The power turns on.

Note: To avoid injury, do not connect the adapter to a
ceiling outlet.


My gosh! A new thing to worry about.


From generic antenna installation instructions, from
www.terrestrial-digital.com

After a page of warnings about grounding, power lines and windy days,
more warnings:

WARNING
Do not attempt to install if drunk, pregnant or both.
Do not eat antenna.
Do not throw antenna at spouse.

I guess that's one of those "direct translation from the Chinese" things,

I think this was just the sense of humor of the guys at
terrestrial-digital. I think it's great.

but here's a serious one I saw the other day on a building compound gate at
my local supermarket where they are doing some refurbing. It said

"No alcohol or drugs to be used on this site"

What is the world coming to ? My wife won a toy radio controlled car at the
bingo last weekend. Some of the instructions on that box were hysterical,
but she's given it away now, so unfortunately, I can't share :-( That
was mine to play with ...


Arfa

 

[Arfa Daily]

"Oren" <Oren@127.0.0.1> wrote in message
news:62p0i5h03vsjc4ehf08c00skt37k7jqtfm@4ax.com...

On Wed, 09 Dec 2009 18:12:40 -0800, David Nebenzahl
nobody@but.us.chickens> wrote:

So tell me if you've read anything that can beat this: one a'them sun
shades you put inside your car's windshield (sorry, windSCREEN) that
says this inside:

REMOVE BEFORE DRIVING


(not translated-from-Chinese hilarity, but still ...)


Warning Labels:

""For external use only!" -- On a curling iron."

""Do not use if you cannot see clearly to read the information in the
information booklet." -- In the information booklet."

Seen on packets of nuts here now "Caution - may contain nuts..."

and on hot drinks take-away cups " Caution - contents may be hot ..."

Arfa

 

[David Brodbeck]

Stormin Mormon wrote:

And, and also learned the Jesus Method of finding out which
breaker connects to a certain electrical outlet. requiring a
six or so inch length of 12 or 14 gage wire, with about an
inch of each end stripped. Often with the ends gently
pounded flat.

I used to fly sailplanes. Because these non-powered aircraft sometimes
land away from the airport, they're designed to be broken down into
pieces so they can be loaded on a trailer. Part of every preflight
inspection was examining the removable pins that held the wings on,
which everyone referred to as "Jesus pins."